Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Here


I want, I need.  The words a toddler says.  Nay, the words this Mama says!  I have, for so long, wanted to write and entry!  And now, I need to write!  The computer couldn’t reboot fast enough for these fingers to start blogging! 

All I could think about as I got ready for bed was writing, though I couldn’t think of what to write.  Then I started to think of what I have written about in the past: encouragement, marriage, and joyful moments.  I realized as I reflected:  I’m here!  I’m here…I am at home, teaching my kids, cleaning our house, washing our clothes, preparing our food.  I have a craft room.  I have a laundry room.  A whole room just for doing laundry!  I don’t have to do yard work in our sprawling back yard:  our landlord pays someone to do it.  I’m here!  I am doing it! 

I can pick up a book at any time of the day and read it…and I like it!  I have never read in my life and liked it.  Well, I used to read plays a lot….but I have read three novels in one month!  And they’re big and challenging and I love it!

Here I am…exclamations and all!!!

For so long I have wondered and dreamed of being at home.  When my daughter asks me what I used to want to be when I grew up I always tell her: a wife and a Mama.  For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be at home, wearing aprons, baking and cooking, cleaning and tidying, organizing and decorating, sewing and writing. 


I used to think I wanted to be a teacher.  Well, I’m a teacher!  In a sense that no other teacher in the world can teach!  I can wake my kids up to watch a sunrise, or keep them up late to look at stars.  I can teach them how to cook more than just a pancake.  I can teach them how to make roast turkey and plan a meal for entertaining.  I can teach them of the love of God, and of His greatness, His holiness, His wonders.  I can watch them make mistakes and encourage them to keep trying.  I can wipe the tears that they cry…every one of them!  I can see the glow and the excitement in them as they discover how big the world really is.  I can make reading exciting by changing my voice, and make them laugh when I am silly…when they least expect it!  I can teach them how to have fun with learning.  I can teach them Latin and grammar and eventually logic and rhetoric!


I am enjoying every moment of it.  I love here.  I love that so much hard work is proving fruitful.  I love that the moments are rich and tasty and I feel no guilt!  I love that God has granted the desire of my heart.  I love that this life, with all the pleasures that God gives me, is simply a shadowy reflection of what is to come.  This sliver of a life, this glimmering moment, this here is graceful and peaceful and I am so thankful.

My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the LORD; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God.  Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, at your altars, O LORD of hosts, my King and my God.  Blessed are those who dwell in your house, ever singing your praise!  Psalm 84:2-4 

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!  Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.  Psalm 34:8

1 comment:

Kaeli said...

I'm so glad that you're happy! It's amazing to watch the Lord work in your life, and for that work to bear fruit.