I want, I need. The words a toddler says. Nay, the words this Mama says! I have, for so long, wanted to write and entry! And now, I need to write! The computer couldn’t reboot fast enough for these fingers to start blogging!
All I could think about as I got ready for bed was writing, though I couldn’t think of what to write. Then I started to think of what I have written about in the past: encouragement, marriage, and joyful moments. I realized as I reflected: I’m here! I’m here…I am at home, teaching my kids, cleaning our house, washing our clothes, preparing our food. I have a craft room. I have a laundry room. A whole room just for doing laundry! I don’t have to do yard work in our sprawling back yard: our landlord pays someone to do it. I’m here! I am doing it!
I can pick up a book at any time of the day and read it…and I like it! I have never read in my life and liked it. Well, I used to read plays a lot….but I have read three novels in one month! And they’re big and challenging and I love it!
Here I am…exclamations and all!!!
For so long I have wondered and dreamed of being at home. When my daughter asks me what I used to want to be when I grew up I always tell her: a wife and a Mama. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be at home, wearing aprons, baking and cooking, cleaning and tidying, organizing and decorating, sewing and writing.
I used to think I wanted to be a teacher. Well, I’m a teacher! In a sense that no other teacher in the world can teach! I can wake my kids up to watch a sunrise, or keep them up late to look at stars. I can teach them how to cook more than just a pancake. I can teach them how to make roast turkey and plan a meal for entertaining. I can teach them of the love of God, and of His greatness, His holiness, His wonders. I can watch them make mistakes and encourage them to keep trying. I can wipe the tears that they cry…every one of them! I can see the glow and the excitement in them as they discover how big the world really is. I can make reading exciting by changing my voice, and make them laugh when I am silly…when they least expect it! I can teach them how to have fun with learning. I can teach them Latin and grammar and eventually logic and rhetoric!
I am enjoying every moment of it. I love here. I love that so much hard work is proving fruitful. I love that the moments are rich and tasty and I feel no guilt! I love that God has granted the desire of my heart. I love that this life, with all the pleasures that God gives me, is simply a shadowy reflection of what is to come. This sliver of a life, this glimmering moment, this here is graceful and peaceful and I am so thankful.
My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the LORD; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God. Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, at your altars, O LORD of hosts, my King and my God. Blessed are those who dwell in your house, ever singing your praise! Psalm 84:2-4
Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8