Monday, April 18, 2011


I think someone has been praying for me...and not after I posted "please pray for us" on facebook, but before. I may be just a bit on the hokey side of things, but I really do think that there are all sorts of prayers bouncing out to the abyss God encompasses for me. I try not to think about myself too much, HA, but instead my prayers are for others. Heal that person, help that need, reach that heart, hear their cry, etc. My prayers have been about my kids, my husband, my family, their health, their well being, salvation for those in need, a swift boot for the ones that are stubborn, etc.

Recently I have been praying for myself. See, just writing that sounds narcissistic to me. From within I felt urged to focus on what God is doing in me...and to pray. I have also been asking for a lot of prayer. Somehow, without me noticing, the Lord shifted the ground under my feet. I have experienced this before and thought that I would be able to notice the shift before I was on the ground, but, nope. Life is beautiful, and with all the changes that have been happening (no details, sorry about the vagueness) with health, money, kids, houses....LIFE has become a constant reminder of my need for a savior.

I don't know what changes will come tomorrow, or where we will end up, if we end up somewhere rather than moving around, or if we will continually move, or how many more days I have with my darling husband, or what my children will discover, or which strangers I may meet, or what I can say to help, or what I will do when I grow up, or what type of counselor I may be, or what my kids will grow up to do, or what my husband will bring home, or what shirt will have holes in it today...but...

All of this reminds me that I need Jesus. I need hope in something outside of me. I can't rely on my strength, or the strength of others. I rely on the abundance of God's gift of grace in my life. The fact that He called my name is undeniable. The fact that He changed me, and continues His work in me to the day I go home is remarkable. The fact that He has blessed my life with richness, peace, hope, joy, struggle, torment, grief, and love is awesome. Inspiring.

I have been looking at my life, hating it for the sake of Christ, for my hope is in that which is above, not that which shall parish. I have been dwelling in His presence asking for guidance and peace and clarity and motivation. I have been praying for you, and for me, and He is responding. It takes my breath away.

If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:26

This verse challenges my love for my a worldly way. It strengthens my love for the Lord, which in turn strengthens my love for my a godly way. The paradigm of God's love lived out in us is fascinating.

The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. 1 Timothy 1:15-16

And this one brings a smile to my face. It is not I, but He that lives in me. :)


Tammy said...

It is as if you had a little man crawl into my brain, another into my heart and capture all that I am feeling and thinking, and then had them return to you much like messenger doves they used hundreds of years ago. To top it off, you were able to successfully articulate it! I am absolutely, positively amazed with out great God and how draws hearts together. I love you much and am walking this journey with you.

Lianabella said...

I really love this post. It just reminds me why I love you SOOO much and why you will always be a friend in my heart, no matter the distance or time. Hugs!!

Jeff and Aimee said...

Hi there. I found your blog through Elisabeth B's. You write well. I enjoyed your posts. You should write more of them, unless, of course, it would interfere with higher priorities. :)