Ten years...ten years to figure out that delicate balance of "wifery." Is that a word? I don't think so, but I'm still going to use it! Yes. Ten years we celebrated in December, and this year is starting out on a great foot! I have devoted my life and my love to my husband, and for the last ten years I have tried to figure out how to train him, change him, change me for him, please him...and now I have been blessed with a heart that is changed for something I never thought would happen!
SEX! Oh my, yes I said it.
SOMETHING happened in the last month (or 9 years and 11 months) that has totally made my heart do a 180 on this issue. I'm not sure I should even call it an issue because that implies that there is conflict. And while there IS friction, there is NO conflict on the topic. *wink*
I've had a lot of issues on this topic in the past. A LOT. I never validated the fact the God calls me to union with my husband! I only saw the surface of being with him. I struggled with images of past dudes (not cool!). I struggled with not "feeling" like it, or not feeling pretty or worthy of the attention. I struggled with seeking help when I was angry at him for not "thinking about anything else!" I submitted to just "being available" and that only made me angry. I tried to be "sexy" and that just made me feel stupid, which made me feel angry.
I had given up on the idea of ever truly enjoying my husband in intimate union. Then we went on our tenth anniversary "honeymoon". As we enjoyed our time together I looked at my husband and saw his tender love for me. I saw how he cherishes me. It was like looking at him on the day we started dating! I was able to see him with eyes clear and a love renewed! Not only that, but my self centered focus was gone!
It was AMAZING!! And it still is! And I'm counting on the rest of our years to be filled with twitterpation! Now I am able to see the blessing of being with him...DAILY!
I do have to say that this is solely a post for wives, or wives to be. I am speaking of the blessing God has heaped on my head and heart in my marriage! I pray that all of you beautiful women are divinely blessed with eyes to see your husband in light of the truth.
Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
Many plans are in a man's heart, But the counsel of the LORD will stand.