Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Home

There's a saying that goes "Home is where the heart is." While I'm sure that is commercially acceptable for most people, I rather prefer to think of home being where my heart is discovered and uncovered, and not just where my heart is. I know, you're thinking "That's just a figure of speech! Why must you complicate it, Tink?" But, let me explain.

I have this thing in my list of personality traits, you could call it O.C.D., I call it character. It causes me to see things how I want them to be, and I do my darnedest to make things turn out to my liking. Now, that throws a stick in the wheel of life as it goes round and round.... because when I'm starting to get comfortable, complete with appropriate anecdotes, I realize that I am living in light of what I hope to be reality, seeing that the reality of life is catching up to my ever wandering heart. And even as I sit and write this, I realize that I can't just make things what I want them to be...I must apply truth to the reality, usurping the deep waters of my tainted heart and revealing the truth of the gospel.

As my perceived world becomes dim, and the tangible, disheartening world comes into focus, I see that home is not built on the hope of what I should want...and that's good news 'cuz I'm an O.C.D perfectionist sinner! Rather, home is what it is meant to be as I follow Christ... all from choice and action and affect of those that are intimately involved in it, and most importantly how the promises of God take hold... or how I take hold of God's promises.

Home, as I am coming to know it, is where my heart is revealed, changed, bathed in truth, grace, and love. I can only assume that as you read this there may be blank spots, questions and misunderstood meanings. So, here is my attempt at further validating my observation.

There have been many places of which I have laid my head to rest, and of those places, I can truly say that only a handful of them have been home. And those places that were home, was where my heart was exposed. Where I felt safe enough to reveal my heart and the desires in it...along with the fears and dreams...

Home is where I discovered who I was, what I liked about myself, what I hated about myself, and what I wanted to do about it. Home is where I was able to see the truth, and it set me free. Home is where reality met hope, and a path was carved out. A path that I was able to walk down because I knew...after experiencing home and the revelation that comes from it...I could walk down it.

Home has been where my broken heart was mended, where my dreams have been formed, where my hope has been restored. Home is where I share my heart with my children, as well as the heart of God with my children, so that they, too, have that safe place to open up and be cared for.

I have to shout a grand "Thank You" to those of you in my life who have given me that home, that safe place to make mistakes, be loved, guided, corrected, restored and refreshed. As well as praise God for His gracious guidance as I navigated through the mazes of "home". His truth, and the promise that goes with it, has proved to cleans my heart, and make home a place of refuge, strength, and hope... in Him.

Now, as I finish the thought, I must say...I desire to continue to make here or there or anywhere...home for my family (and anybody else that God our Father desires to bless our family with). Home is where a heart is revealed, broken, made new, restored, and filled.

Many plans are in a man's heart, but the counsel of the Lord will stand. Proverbs 19:21

Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than he who is perverse in speach and is a fool. Also it is not good for a person to be without knowledge, and he who hurries his footsteps errs. Proverbs 19:1,2

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. John 14:27

Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses. But let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. I Peter 3:3,4

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Late Night Ramblings

It's almost midnight...and as this day passes and a new day begins, I am thankful for what the Lord does (and is doing) in the lives of those that follow Him.
It's not just that He takes care of us at every turn....food, shelter, health....it's that He is taking us down a road which we have never traveled before.

As I write that I am thinking that it is a strange thought...to think that we may go down a road that we have traveled before. Do we really think that we would travel the same road over and over...back and forth...as if pacing through life, until we wear a deep and stale road that becomes a pit?

I would be foolish to think that He would do anything other than show us a new road to travel....or to think that I would want to follow Him in order to have a life of repetition...
on the contrary...this life of surrender, following, and obedience, has proved to be full of adventure. Lovely, heart wrenching, gut busting, adventure. That's not even a sufficient word! I just can't think of a better one...it's late.

I am so thankful. That He has His hand on mine, and that He is leading and guiding my steps....to know that I am not blind or deaf or lame (okay, I can be lame sometimes...I'm a sinner)...but when I am totally devoted and meditating on His truth and His promise and His desire for my life (thank you that you're not done, Lord!)...I am thankful.

As I prepare myself for rest this evening, I know that tomorrow has a whole other story that will unfold...and I am excitedly waiting with expectation the joy that will come from it...trials and all. It's so beautiful!!!

The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
You support my lot.
The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me.
Psalm 16: 5-6